I don't owe you anything any longer (Songs written and recorded at the age of 36-41)

The Six Mass Extinctions Of Sara

The six mass extinctions of Sara

1.     Ordovician – continents moving
2.     Devonian – waters overflowing
3.     Permian – Pangea forming
4.     Triassic – volcanos flooding
5.     Cretaceous – asteroids falling
6.     Holocene – humans roaring

The first mass extinction of Sara
It all started with my grandfather
Founder of the destroy Sara league
Breaking up the family
Splitting us up
The architect, the architect corrupts
And I’m separated from the others

The second mass extinction of Sara
Then the paedophiles lay hands on me
They are gas lighting
But I ain’t buying
Yet they have the power to drug, then maim
Somehow I’m the one to end up ashamed
And drowning in the rising seas

The third mass extinction of Sara
Something new is forming
I’ve seen things kids ain’t meant to see
That doesn’t count, you can count on me
It’s your old world and my new
Mine never counts, not like yours do
So I’m isolated on my own

The forth mass extinction of Sara
Then he comes to the rescue
My man, my volcano
But he comes with a price
Bruises, bottles and knives
Yet his neck is a place called home
Eruption, and just like that it’s over
Just like that he’s gone
And I’m all alone

The fifth mass extinction of Sara
Since then always waiting for disaster to strike
And ooh, how it strikes
It all falls, and crushes my body
Their heads will fall
Like bowling balls
But that doesn’t help if they killed your babies
So I wave goodbye to me
And to who my kids should have been

The sixth mass extinction of Sara
Getting back on the horse
But I fall off the bus, literally
And I know it’ll end soon
Just five more years, that’s the goal, the dream
Cause the less I have, the less I have to lose
The less I have, the less I want (from you)
First survival of the fittest
Next survival of the richest
Yes, humanity’s fucked
But Earth will keep existing
When we’re gone
No one will miss us

Gospel of Grief

1. I don’t want to be tragedy
I don’t want to be tragic
I don’t want you to pity me
Work your mojo and magic

Ch. This is my gospel of grief
This is my crusade against the silence
It’ll all begin with relief
It’ll all end in violence

2. You were my Terra Nullius, I claimed you, made you all mine
I loved you even when you didn’t deserve it, which was most of the time

Ch. This is my gospel of grief
This is my hymn of sorrow
It’ll all begin with relief
It’ll all end tomorrow

Br. Sometimes I think: “I never felt this bad before”
Then I remember, I always felt this bad
All I see are lasts and never agains
I never get over it, I never get over you
I’ve always suffered, I’ve always been sad
The gospel leads to where it all ends

Ch. This is my gospel of grief
These are the final wars
The end will take nothing from us
I will always and always be yours

Dead People’s Clothes

1. She’s like stardust
When she dies, she doesn’t really
Cause we’re all built of her, made by her
I’m her daughter, what does that make me?
I’m all amygdala
about:blank, I’m all soliloquy
I rest the day after I die, not a minute sooner
I guess that’s how she made me

Ch. I wear my scar on my sleeve
Lately I’ve only worn dead people’s clothes
In a hotel in Athens, or the office, it still hurts the same
I walk the same kind of lonely roads
In dead people’s clothes

2. He’s like a fire devil
Rolling in, Lock the doors
We’re all burning tumble weed
I’m his woman, what does that make me?
I guess Tilikum and Tyke
The Denisovan falling on his sword
I rest the day after I die, if you’re lucky
I guess that is what he gave me

Ch. I wear my scar on my sleeve
Lately I’ve only worn dead people’s clothes
In a hotel in Athens, or the office, still can’t medicate lonely away
Walk the same abandoned roads
In dead people’s clothes

Another Hymn

1. She named her daughter after me, giving me something to live up to
So I tried to do good, for their sake and mine, I guess Daniel was a vegan too
I gave my life to the arts, being art instead of human
But the world has changed, all of a sudden everyone is Cindy Sherman

Ch. They tried to sell my soul to the devil, but he didn’t want it
I can repel anything
Putting on my serial killer gloves, fucking up another hymn
For all lost souls to sing

2. I always wind up doing bad, I don’t know how I do it, the anger and contempt takes over
I think thoughts you’re not meant to think if you’re normal
Payback’s a bitch, but I guess, so am I then
If I have to die in pain, I make sure you die shamed

Ch. They tried to sell my soul to the devil, but he didn’t want it
I can repel anything
Putting on my serial killer gloves, fucking up another hymn
For all lost souls to sing

Br. Fake it til you make it
Break it when you take it
Stay until he trades you
Love him til he hates you

Ch. They tried to sell my soul to the devil, but he didn’t want it
I can repel anything
Putting on my serial killer gloves, fucking up another hymn
For all lost souls to sing

Lordie, Lordie

1. Lordie, Lordie, I have come for mercy, I have come for riches, I have come for pain
I have come for bridges, bridges leading over, breaking off my binding chain

2. Lordie, Lordie, I have come for mercy, I have come for treasure, I have come for song
Lordie, Lordie, I have come to undo, all that simply can not be undone

3. Lordie, Lordie, I have come for mercy, I have come for words and I have come for rhyme
I have come for pleading, I have come for begging, Lordie, Lordie, it wasn’t her time

4. Lordie, Lordie, I have come for mercy, I have come for pleasure, I have come in debt
Cause Lordie, Lordie, although I claim it, neither I am ready yet

5. Lordie, Lordie, I have come for mercy, I have come for riches, I have come for song
I have come for rivers, rivers that will bind you, and take you home dear, let me take you home

I.C.

I was born in I.C.
In the belly no connection to the outside world
Once outside, no memory of the womb
Born and raised in I.C., yeah that’s me

Staring at the ceiling, 30-207-143
Trying to maintain some kind of normality
Failing miserably

They’re celebrating, popping champagne, my pentagram of foe
Two down, three to go
You should have killed me when you had the chance, that you know

Miracle imploring, knowing full well, deep down inside
Miracles don’t apply
Last prayer ever, “I do whatever”, Get “for never”, get severed, bereaved and orphaned forever

I ain’t doin’ no colleague cryin’
I ain’t listening to Nazis parading
I ain’t doin’ none of this anymore
Just wasn’t enough purple lips was there?
Just wasn’t enough pale skin was there?
It’s not like I haven’t done this before

Pray for one thing, one thing only, but once again, zero, zero
Chucking everything aboard

They burn, they burn like funeral pyre
I was born in I.C.
They burn, they burn like funeral pyre
I was born in I.C.
…

Goodbye (Song for Helena)

Ch. You say, say you love me and, then, you say you hate me, then you, you say you want me, then you say, then you say goodbye
I say, say I hate you, then I say, I despise you,then I say, say you’ve hurt me, then you say, then you say goodbye

1. I am Ezzelino da Romano’s girl
To me revenge always tastes sweeter than blood
Rita says I’m most def more than a handful
I laugh and tell her I’m a full-time job
Reclaim allometry
Became karoshi

Ch. You say, say you want me, I say, I say I hate you, you say, you say you need me, then I say, then I say goodbye
You say you’ll cut me, I say, I will burn you, then I say, say I’ll kill you, then I say, then I say goodbye

2. Saturday night and I’m all alone
No ring on my finger or telephone
Breaking the glass means breaking the law
Once again I’ll cremate my life
I try everything thrice

Ch. You say, say you need my dough, I scream, let, let me go, you say never, no, then you say, then you say goodbye
I say, say that you will pay, not right now, maybe not today, I’ll never let you get away, for now, for now I say goodbye

Br. The Anna Harvey Story album’s out
I need nothing but your head, I shout

3. The Metal Monarch reigns again
I only love my mum and dad, everyone else can suck my dick
"I am Gaganesh" he claimed
Well I’m Florence Jenkins favorite pupil

Ch. And I say, I say I hate you and then, then I leave you, leave you for now, so I say, I just say goodbye
I say I’ll never forgive, I say, I’ll never forget, I say, you will pay and regret, until then I say goodbye

…And Justice For Me

It never ends
The belly stabbed, the choking throat, pale face, the sinking stone, the heart stop
When I think about it. When I really think about it
Like it just happened, just now
Time warp, back in the room, the black phone, the words, the falling, never to return
The realization it’s all over, it’s all over, I’ll never recover, my life is over, I am over
As dead as you

In this parallel universe, years later, where I carry our kids, at home in Belgium, the life we were supposed to live
All gone, and yet I’m there
I’ll always be there
With you
As dead as you

I don’t want you to rest in peace. I want you to rise, return, release your fury
Burn and punish them, for what they said about you
So I want them to suffer, I hate them, I curse them, 1 000 times the pain
A 1 000 times the pain
Justice for me
…and justice for you

It’s never over, I still hate. I still curse
I still ache for them to know, what I know
But they’ll never know, cause only I lost you
My refusal to make my body your tomb. Yet knowing, that’s all that I am
Buried with you

I found my life purpose, I live to scream your name, tell your tale
I’ll never forget you, I’ll never let them forget you
Demon voices sayin’ it’s not your pain, it’s hers
No it’s mine, it’s always mine
It wasn’t supposed to be like this
What about all of us that didn’t make the news?
It’s never over. It never gets better
You can’t tell people that,
but it is the truth

Kitharode

1. Man it’s time for you to go now
I sell you off like the whore that you are
Yet I miss what we never had
I miss what you never were
Getting rid of the last traces of you
Erase you from the time line
I didn’t go to your death bed
Well you wouldn’t have gone to mine

Ch. Get away, get away, get away, get away, get away
Get away, get away, get away, get away, get away

2. Babe, it’s time for you to go now
I used to think “I hate you more than you hate me, so I win”
Good riddance, you’re long gone
But still you find new ways to kick my heart in
I used to think “I hate me more than you hate me, so I win”
I can not stand myself, If they die I’ll off myself, Until then
I’m just hanging with my best friends Nin and Marilyn

Ch. Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode
Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode

Br 1. I curl up in fetus position, find comfort since it reminds me of the good times, before I’d met a single human being
We all come out kicking and screaming, at the first look of our fellow men
You only have one life, thank God, but it’s still bad enough
Either you love yourself, or you love all the others
Right now, not you, that much

Ch. Get away, get away, get away, get away, get away
Get away, get away, get away, get away, get away

3. Hon’ it’s time for you to go now
All is well that ends well, well not you
I double curse your name, again and again
You were a better person, when you were mine
Eat less, weightless, less of me, all the better
Leave me, sideways
Forgot my name and who I am
Curse you, burn you, never let a bad one win
I’ll cry for you tonight and then
Never again

Ch. Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode
Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode

Br 2. Eat less, weightless, less of me, all the better
Leave me, sideways
Forgot my name and who I am
Curse you, burn you, never let a bad one win
I’ll cry for you tonight and then
Never again

Ch. Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode
Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode, Kitharode

(Despite of what she’s thinking, there’s no love left Despite of what she’s thinking, I’m not here)

Lex Sara

Ch 1. Hahahahahahands clapping
Aaaaarms aching
Mahmahmahmahmy body, my body, your worst enemy
Fafafafafeet stomping
Bbbbbones breaking
Mahmahmahmahmy body, my body, your worst enemy

1. He’s got his rape kit in his pocket
His needle in my arm
They break the Hippocratic Oath
They aim to do me harm
Made a machine out of a child
Titanium instead of bone
A mechanic woman you created
You’re my brimstone, you’re my brimstone

Ch 2. Hahahahahahands clapping
Aaaaarms swaying
Mahmahmahmahmy body, my body, your worst enemy
Fafafafafeet tapping
Spaspaspaspaspine screaming
Mahmahmahmahmy body, my body, your worst enemy

2. First you broke all bones, then the hips
Finally you broke my spine
I know you are not finished yet
So what have you come up with this time?
Jag känner dem så väl nu
Huddinge sjukhus alla konster
Lex Maria-anmäl er själva nån gång
Era jävla monster

Ch 1. Hahahahahahands clapping
Aaaaarms aching
Mahmahmahmahmy body, my body, your worst enemy
Fafafafafeet stomping
Bbbbbones breaking
Mahmahmahmahmy body, my body, your worst enemy

I Make The Fucking Rules

1. IMTFR
Not _
Not Grandpa
Not Judas
Not _, nor his friends

2. IMTFR
Not _
Not _
Not _
Not M and all his kin

Ch 1. No IMTFR
Reclaim, my name
IMTFR

Mid1. Era regler är numera upphävda:
1. Den med rikast pappa bestämmer inte
2. Den med dyrast hus har ej fler röster
3. Den med mest pengar bestämmer inte
4. Den med plattast mage har ej mer värde
5. Den med högst lön är inte smartast
6. Den med bäst betyg är inte smartast
7. Den med flest böcker är inte smartast
8. Den med ljusast hår är inte sötast
9. Den med smalast armar är inte snyggast
10. Den med flest skivor är ej värd mer

3. IMTFR
Not _
Not _
Not Denny
Not Vincent nor Benny

4. IMTFR
Not liars
Not school girls
Not "best friends"
Not undermining "friends"

Ch 2. No IMTFR
Renew my vows
IMTFR

Mid 2. Regler som tillkommit:
1. Ingen fuckar med mitt huvud
2. Ingen fuckar med mitt hjärta
3. Jag bestämmer över mig
4. Min kropp – mina regler
5. Mitt hem – mina regler
6. Mitt liv – mina regler
7. Ni behöver hålla käft
8. Jag behöver noll svikare
9. Jag behöver noll lögnare
10. Jag är inte skyldig nåt

Ch 1. IMTFR
Reclaim my name
IMTFR

The Architect

1. All week I’ve been x4
Thinking about my fear of failing
How that is another one of your “gifts”
I always choose the other way, the lonely way
Hate myself when I don’t pass your tests
You say that I’m not like you
Guess what, I don’t want to
Be, you say she’s like you and I’m not like her
Well I don’t want to be with her either

Ch. If I’m a nurse, then you’re no pilot
No, you’re the architect, building your kingdom of fascism
Where you’re the king, the emperor, the judge and jury
Making up laws we all have to obey
Forbid me to go my own way

2. How weak I’ve been x4
How weak you made me
How I run and hide when I can’t go any farther
Try to be good enough, don’t bother
I just listen to my Münchhausen by proxy grandfather
Who’s stating “You don’t have a brain”
Well you don’t have a fucking heart
In the kingdom of your fascist reign
Let me go, let me leave, let me out

Ch. If I’m a nurse, then you’re the pilot
A shitty kind, to crash two fucking planes
Let me out of your kingdom of fascism
Let go of your grip
Rest in hell, rest in hell
Let go of me, let go of me
God, send in the bulldozers to crush his kingdom, release his grip
Let me go, let me out, let me leave
You say that she’s like you and I am not
Let me go, let me leave, let me out
I’m not like you, no I’m not
Let me go, let me leave, let me out

Frogling

1. I’ve been waiting for you since the dawn of time
I’ve been longing for you since the Precambrian
My belly’s aching for the child, that’s not kicking inside
But right now mama’s got somewhere she needs to be
Something she’s gotta do

Ch. But Frogling, I’m coming, I’m coming for you
Mama’s coming, coming for you
Girl, I’m coming, I’m coming for you
I’m coming home

2. I can see your palm print through my skin
My filibuster’s feet kicking in
My belly, fighting his way out to his mummy
But right now mama’s got somewhere she needs to be
Something she’s gotta do

Ch. But Frogling, I’m coming, I’m coming for you
Mama’s coming, coming for you
Son, I’m coming, I’m coming for you
I’m coming home

Br. If the waiting is too hard for you too baby
Remember it ain’t mummy’s fault it takes so long, it’s daddy’s

Ch. But Frogling, I’m coming, I’m coming for you
Mama’s coming, coming for you
Child, I’m coming, I’m coming for you
I’m coming home

Ch. Frogling, I’m coming, I’m coming for you
Mama’s coming, coming for you
Child, I’m coming, I’m coming for you
I’m coming home

Dies Irae

I put on my patomimia dress
Paint my lips with Cassandra complex
Eutanasia perfume on my neck

Outside your coffin. You're all dead to me
More dead than he will ever be
Everyone of you – equally guilty

If you ever loved me there's no way
You would leave me to feel like this again
This surely changes everything

You don't deserve to hear my words 'bout my love
I don't owe you anything any longer
You're disease and I am patient zero

I don’t worry 'bout the future anymore
Cause I don't plan on having a future
At least not one with you in it, Judases

I wanted to find something that lasted
All you gave me was more disappointment
You had one job and you blew it

These are dies irae

Soldie

1. Life’s the best lover I ever had
No one else ever fucked me as hard
Breathing survivors guilt, I died when you did
Your scar is my scar
No, I’ve been more dead than you’ll ever be
You died age 32, but I age 27, Soldie

Ch. You were my first, my last
My future, my past
All these years later, you’re still all that I got, all I need
Elephants in all the rooms
We don’t bury our dead
So I won’t bury you, Soldie

2. The worst is not what can happen
It’s what happened and what’s now
Kissing Adonis lips to implore them
To change it all somehow
I want the one I used to be to come here and sing me well
Her voice can heal the dead, can break this spell

Ch. You were my first, my last
My future, my past
All these years later, you’re still all that I got, all I need
Elephants in all the rooms
We don’t bury our dead
So I won’t bury you, Soldie

Br. I always was one to crash and burn
If I stop crashing I might return
From Hades unlike Eurydice
Become who I was before I found, then lost you, Soldie

Ch. You’ll always be my first, my last
My future, my past
All these years later, you’re still all that I got
But I need to set the elephants free
And return from the dead, my Soldie